


Touch my Own Skin And Hope They'll Still be There

by Darkmagyk



Category: Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Alien Culture, Introspection, M/M, Mutant Pride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 02:42:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19141945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkmagyk/pseuds/Darkmagyk
Summary: Teddy sometimes evaluates his life and is baffled by what he finds.





	Touch my Own Skin And Hope They'll Still be There

**Author's Note:**

> So, Young Avengers you guys. I've never written in this fandom but I love them so much, and Teddy seems so under explored. So I tried to explore him some. Not sure if it worked.

Teddy sometimes evaluates his life and is baffled by what he finds.

When he was still in high school, and living with the Kaplans, Rebecca had sent him to a therapist who dealt in super human matters. At the time he’d thought it kind of dumb, and he knows that Tommy hasn’t even lasted half an hour in his (Billy had admitted that is said a lot about how much he respected the Kaplan’s that he even bothered to showed up that once) but desperate to please in the wake of his entire life falling apart, Teddy has gone for nearly half a year. 

The truth was it had helped. With his mother’s death, and dealing with the lies she'd told him. It helped with the new school and the new family life he was thrown in to. 

It even helped retroactively with Cassie and Jonas and Nate and _Billy_. He wasn’t over things, not really, not at all, but he could process them. Could do something other than be buried under the weight of grief. 

But when he’d tried to explain the off kilterness about everything to his therapist, she’d nodded kindly and started talking about dysphoria and dysmorphia and how their was some research about shapeshifters. And it had been very unexpected and kind of uncomfortable, and it had ended with Teddy just kind of nodding along, and never bringing it up again.

Because that wasn’t it, not really. Shifting has never felt anything but natural to him, he’s been able to do it for a long as he can remember. His skin is still his skin, and the inside is still always Teddy. When he was much younger and with something more the prove he’d perhaps used it to try to make himself look like he’d thought others had wanted. And when he’d been...with Greg he’d put on other people’s faces and hated how Greg made him feel about it. 

But he’d never had any trouble relating the outside with the inside. 

He had aesthetic preferences, of course. His earrings, his blond hair, stuff he likes and sticks with. Like Billy’s black nail polish or Kate’s purple everything and hip holes. 

But even when he lacks them he doesn’t stop being Teddy, doesn’t stop thinking Teddy Altman when he looks in the mirror. 

He can shift into a woman, and in front of the mirror might be baffled by breasts and long hair, but not wholly disconnected from himself. Even if the three times he’s gone in public shifted as such he hated it. But that was as much as a social role issue as anything else. Like going out with Johnny Storm or Tony Stark. He felt like himself, he just hated the the rest of the world didn’t see it. 

It is more that Teddy Altman looks into the mirror and sees a 24 year old man named Teddy Altman, feels like a 24 year old man named Teddy Altman no matter the shell. But he knows it's not true. He sees pink Kree or green Skrull skin. Blue eyes and blond hair he inherited not from the woman who for sixteen years reflected his appearance, but from a father he never actually met. 

He looks up at the starless New York night sky and thinks that somewhere out are warring alien races. But they aren’t alien, apparently, they begot him in some far off galaxy. On a planet ruled by his grandfather. 

Billy had gone through a space phase as a child. Teddy has seen the pictures of him dressed as Luke Skywalker as a 6 year old and has heard him quote the movies line for line curled up next to him during movie night. He knows that like lots of kids he’d been enchanted by the idea of far off alien races in super space wars when he was just a bit older and Mrs. Kaplan keeps the little construction paper book he made about the Kree/Skrull war in third grade. 

Teddy had never been that into space. He’d spent ages 3 through 7 obsessed with dinosaurs and then graduated to rocks because he thought they looked cool. He’d like Star Wars more for the wizards (go figure) then the space battles and the aliens. His mother had always treated most media about space with a sort of questioning raised eyebrow, but she’d never forbidden it from the house or anything, it had just never captures Teddy’s imagination. 

Not like Billy, with old glow in the dark stars on his bedroom ceiling. Teddy had loved laying surreptitiously in the bed as Billy explained the constellations he’d recreated. He’d pointed to one, just weeks after heroes and kisses and having a boyfriend, and explained that the spear point was technically the Sun around which the Skrull Throneworld had spun. It had been destroyed when Galactus ate the planet, but Earth could still see the light, and would probably be able to for years to come. 

It had seemed far out and distantly tragic at the time. One tragedy of millions or even billions throughout the galaxy. 

It had fled his mind. Behind the impending arrival by a future despot, the reality of being a superhero, chemistry tests and history project, and a really cute boyfriend who wanted to kiss Teddy as much as Teddy wanted to kiss him.

It had been months and months and fights and deaths before he’d found himself far enough away from New York to see the stars at night. 

Teddy had never cared about space, but hearing Billy excitedly explain everything again in the cold night air had been more engrossing then any episode of Star Trek ever. 

Until he’d gotten to the point of the spear, he’d repeated about half of the story when he stopped, sat up, and looked at Teddy, a frown on his adorable face.

“Teddy,” he’d tried, squeezing their clasped hands. 

Teddy had squeezed back, hard. Too hard for almost too long. But Billy had just let him. Until Teddy heard a creek.

He let go and Billy wiggle all his fingers to prove nothing was broken, but he did light his hand up blue in his lap to ease the pain as Teddy spoke.

“I was born there.” He managed. “I don’t know anything about it, but I was born there.”

He sat up too, but his eyes remained fixed on the sky. 

“My mom was born there.” He said, and looked down at Billy. “Both of them?” He could feel the water in his eyes. He wondered if Skrulls cried? Or Kree? Surely one of them must. It wasn’t a question it ever occurred to him to ask.

“You were almost killed there, too.” Billy said, “I’m glad your mom.” billy paused too, and then wrapped his arms around Teddy and guided his head into the crook of Billy’s neck so the tears disappeared into his shirt.”Both of them, got you to Earth.”

His birth mother had died when Galactus had eaten that planet and destroyed that Star. But starting up at the ghost light of his home world, it had still felt so removed from Teddy. 

It still felt so removed from him, even with a legendary Kree-Skrull sword leaning next to him against the couch. A sword he wielded like an extension of his arm.

Another off brand element to his story. Teddy does like sword and sorcery, but arthurian chosen ones who pull swords from stone never really jived with him. Even Billy never gave it much thought beyond the British Superheroes who draw power from that history.

All of it combined feels off. Like when your favorite book gets adapted into a movie, and that vaguely resentful feeling you towards the lead actor, who’d never heard of the story until he got the part. Only this time Teddy feels like the shoes on the other foot. 

He’d never even been a Captain Marvel fan. Not the way that little Billy had kind of worshiped the Scarlet Witch before he’d developed her power set, let alone realized he was her kid. He’d never been much of a Hulk fan, either. He’d taken the Hulk look at Nate’s suggestion. 

It was, perhaps shamefully, one of the reasons Loki’s lie has been so easy to swallow. Teddy sometimes feels like he found himself in someone else’s dream life. 

So why not Billy’s. Billy, who loved space and star wars and long lost princes. 

(That was long since resolved. They’d kissed and made up and saved the world with the power of love. They’d also gotten Wanda and Dr. Strange to check and make sure that Teddy really was an independent party. 

Sometimes, in the deepest part of his heart, Teddy hopes they missed something. Because if Billy created Teddy to be perfect for him, then they’ll be perfect for each other forever. And despite everything, he can’t think of a better, happier life for him. Then to be perfect with Billy forever.)

It wasn’t actually a fair thought. Because Teddy has loved superheroes forever. And he loves being one. He loves using his powers, shifting and flexing his strength. The outside changes, but Teddy on the inside loves this. 

Just like he loves his badass superhero fiance. His fly swept hair and how his ass looks in his suit. Also how he wears that cape, so the ass in the tights is mostly just something Teddy gets to see. He loves flying through New York with the love of his life. The feeling of doing good and being the person you are meant to be when he and Billy are out heroing together 

He loves his friends. Meeting up to save the world, or go to brunch, or even go to a birthday party for a younger young avenger. 

Those parts of his life, the Hulkling parts, mostly feels like Teddy Altman in his truest form. His real dream life. A purpose, a passion, a man he loves and a community who more or less loves him. 

And then he’ll shift to his base form and an old avengers will stare at him for just a moment too long, will see the father Teddy wished he’s known, but did not.

The Skrulls or the Kree will start making noise, and people will look at Teddy like he knows anything about any of this shit. And he feels lost and disconnected all over again. 

“Empire State University has a Skrull Faculty member in their Intergalactic Studies department.” Billy said as they collapsed into the couch together after what ended up being basically a day long meeting at Avengers Tower in another attempt to unify Earth’s heroes under common protocols and banners. 

The raised eyebrow Kate had given them from across the room about 30 minute into Steve Roger’s speech more or less summed up Teddy’s entire thought on the futility of it. 

But it had been nice to be invited, even if they weren’t on the first string line ups for any Avengers team at the moment. 

But Billy’s words made something hard to name but all too familiar bubbled up in his throat.

“I didn’t know that.” Teddy said, almost scared about what Billy might suggest. Of what Billy might expect. 

“Yep, apparently they came here during the Secret Invasion and didn’t wanted to leave.” Billy explained, magicking away sticky costumes. You’d have thought that the Avengers could spring for better air conditioning. “Tommy was telling me at lunch, when you got waylaid by Victor, but he didn’t want to talk to me for fear that it would turn into a fight about my name.”

That brought Teddy up short, Tommy was a nice guy, a smart guy and all. Too much like Billy to not be those things. But knowing the staff of Empire State University seemed beyond his normal perview. 

“Why…” Teddy didn’t even have to finish. 

“I’m pretty sure he wants to prove he’s a good brother-in-law.” Billy said with a laugh. But if Tommy was suggesting Teddy go learn about Skrull culture, Teddy couldn’t join in on the joke.

“I’m don’t really want too…” Deal with the culture that got both his mothers killed? Almost got his grandfather to kill him?

“I know,” Billy said, tilting his head for a kiss, “It is good for you to know. But also, you don’t need Skrull cultural lessons tomorrow. Tommy knows that too. That’s what he was trying to prove, actually. He wanted to be sure I knew that David had wanted to tell you and encourage you to look at the courses. And Tommy had explained to him that you wouldn’t have wanted that wound opened up. Then he explained to me that give how our search into backgrounds went, he wasn’t going to question anyone else’s resistance.” Billy looked guilty and sad for several long moments, but then his expression cleared, “Which, you know, fair. On both counts.” 

Teddy didn’t know what to say, how to respond to the twin understanding but Billy filled in the gap for him, like always, “But did you see the X-men today, they looked kind of murderous about Cap’s insutives.”

“Well, yeah,” Teddy said, slinking into the more comfortable topics. “Given Cap’s continued shit policies as far as mutants are concerned, of course they’re not happy about the ‘cross cooperation’ bullshit.” 

Billy sat up and turned to look at Teddy, concern in his eyes, “But, its Captain America.” He offered, and sometimes Billy was the same boy he’d been at 15, and it was wonderful. 

“Captain America’s history on mutant rights and relationships has not be...great.” Teddy offered. 

The completely baffled look on Billy’s face reminded Teddy of another weird disconnect. One he’d been trying to get over for years, and mostly managed except for times like this. 

Because Teddy had thought he was a mutant from about the time he’d first really grasped what it meant to have powers until the Super Skrull had killed his mother. 

And he’d been so very fond of the idea. 

A group of weird outsiders who came together to fight for a world that hated and feared them. People who passed but also people who didn’t. 

Little Teddy, not sure what to do in his shiffing skin, and also becoming more aware by the day that his playground crushes weren’t ‘normal’ either had been enchanted. 

Any love for Avengers, for super heroics, had come from a love of the X-Men. From scouring the internet for mutant forms, form taking trips into M Town to see what it was like. 

Teddy knew that if you’d asked Billy, pretty much from the start, who his favorite superhero was the answer had always been Scarlet Witch. He’s wondered, sometimes, if it was something intrinsic. A long forgotten memory from pre-childhood of Wanda’s love.

Teddy had never had that. Instead, he’d searched for some point of connection. He’d tried X-men and Hulks and though he’d settle, perfectly, happily, on Young Avengers, it still hurt, sometimes. Still felt like the pieces didn’t slot into place as cleanly as they should. 

Billy curled up closer to his side. 

Billy fit without an problems. 

“Well now I’m curious,” He said, “What has Captain America done against the mutant community. Since we’ve established that I do in fact have an active X-gene, this is probably something I should know.”

Teddy laughed despite himself. And started talking. The stories and history didn’t actually matter. Not here and now. 

Teddy Altman, Hulkling, lived Happily Ever After with Billy Kaplan, fighting bad guys and cuddling on couches in AIM funded apartments. 

He’d care about not being a mutant tomorrow. 

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my [tumblr](http://darkmagyk.tumblr.com/)


End file.
